It was a busy day. Not as if most of my days aren't busy, but on this one in particular, I had a list a mile long and it felt like the more the day went on the more I was getting farther and farther behind. My daughters came to me with a request, "Can we watch a movie?" Quiet. Calm. A break from the chaos and constant barrage of noise and distraction from my "list". That's what movies mean. And I try to save them for when I'm absolutely desperate for those things, times like this. "Yes, you may watch a movie, but please pick up the toys from the living room and your bedroom first." They quickly agreed to my terms and set off carrying toys from the living room to their room. After a while, my youngest daughter came and told me that they had done as I requested. Being in such a hurry to finish my chores, I didn't bother to confirm, and she walked into their bedroom and shut the door.
With all the peace that the movie provided, I started checking so many things off of my list! When I finally took a break to come up for air, I decided to peek in on the girls. To my horror, not only was their room in utter disarray, but all of their things that they had taken from the living room had been deposited into a giant pile in the middle.
"Girls, please turn the movie off and come here." Their eyes were wide, telling - they had been discovered. "I told you that you could watch a movie after you had picked up your room. You lied to me!" I left them in their room, feeling angry, betrayed. Why did she lie to me? Did they think I wouldn't notice that their room wasn't clean? It was such a simple request...when will they ever learn?
After some time, they came up to me, tears in streams down their cheeks, "We're so sorry we lied, Mommy...We're so sorry we lied." I was still angry. I still felt betrayed. They hadn't listened to me. They hadn't respected me. They lied to me. "Can we finish our movie, Mommy? We picked up our room!" I bristled. If I say "yes" then they'll never learn their lesson! They'll think it's acceptable to disregard my wishes and to lie to me! They'll think they're getting rewarded for their bad behavior! They'll grow up delinquent - never learning the value of respect!
I knelt to their level. "Why would I let you finish your movie after you didn't do as I asked and then you lied about it? Why would I do that?" They looked at me, tears still pooling in their eyes, then one of them muttered, "Because you love us?"
Then, it hit me. Isn't this what it is all about? Love. Grace - unmerited favor. It's been freely given to us. He loves us, with this unconditional, unfailing, ridiculous love. It's not anything we earn, we couldn't even begin to deserve it. The Word even says that our best, most righteous acts stink to "high Heaven" (Isaiah 64:6). We've been forgiven, washed clean, debts cancelled. "It is finished." His dying words echoing the heart of the Father. There's nothing left to be done. All that remains is this mysterious, undeserved love.
And I knew, this was the lesson. They understand this. They see this. They feel this. They knew they were wrong. They fully felt the conviction and guilt of what they had done. But they were asking to be forgiven, to be loved. I smiled. I took them into my arms and kissed their tear-strewn cheeks. "You're right. I do love you. I love you so much, my sweet girls. I forgive you. And yes, you may finish watching your movie. Not because you've earned it, but because I love you."
I didn't end up accomplishing everything on my list that day. There was still plenty left over for the next day. But I did sleep well that night. I went to bed with a new understanding of Truth. I am loved.
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